the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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