Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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