You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
