I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
