The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
