Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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