Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I smell like Dick and happiness
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
