I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
