I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
