I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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