Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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