so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
