I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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