I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
