Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
