Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Boobs are out for the taking
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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