saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
