We're facebook friends in real life
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
