You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
