i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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