Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
