what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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