I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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