she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
