wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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