is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
