I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
