Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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