I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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