wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
porn star boner night. come get it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize