Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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