shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
