he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
