found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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