did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
