working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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