With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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