if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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