I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
