your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
