I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
