I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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