dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
