sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
