yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
