I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
