do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
