can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
