I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
