4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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