The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
