Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
