meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
