i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
