would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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