i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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